Innocent Forever

My mistress was so pretty, dressed in her little corset and pretty lace dresses. There is never a moment I spend away from her, always at her side ready to do her bidding, “Fetch my umbrella”, I would fetch it, “Tighten the corset more”, I would do it.

Though it may look like I am her personal little monkey there to serve her whenever needed, in reality it is the other way around. She is my personal human doll, I get to dress her up, wash her, make sure she eats, and sleep next to her. It was perfect. I would admire her flawless skin while I scrub her back, smell her hair while I comb it. I loved my job.

But, sometimes sad, dark thoughts cross my mind. My Lady will grow old one day, her supple skin will wrinkle, her pink luscious lips will pucker, her hair will grey and thin out. She will be my doll no more. These thoughts cloud my mind and hurt my heart. I stare at her perfect face, bathed in moonlight, while she is in a deep, blissful slumber, her soft curls cascading across the pillow.

I cannot accept the reality that she will age and not be my doll anymore. I clutched the sheets close to my chin, my fists tightened. I could hear my own heart beating, frantic, it whispers to me, “Do it”, but I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to banish the dark twisted thoughts, “kill her and, she’ll be your doll forever”. My eyes are wide open, blood pumping hard through my veins. I steal one more look of her innocent face.

I slowly get up, careful not to wake her. My heart is right, it is for her own good, she will be perfect and young forever. She will be mine forever, my perfect little doll. I carefully take the knife I had been hiding from under the mattress, the sharp point glints in the moonlight. I slowly walk towards her side of the bed. I lift the knife above my head and bring it crashing down into her heart.

She wakes up then, her doe eyes wide, petrified, she gapes at me while her blood seeps into the sheets, it looks black in the moonlight. “Sorry…”, I whisper, still holding onto the knife. “You are mine forever, little doll, forever…”.

bludyhand2

Photo by Natalia Drepina

 

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